Saving Grace

"It is not necessary for us when we pray to work ourselves up to a state of spirituality which we feel that we lack. Nor do we need to put forth any effort to make what little faith we have seem as great as possible. . . . We need to do but one thing: tell God about our condition, about our faith, our solicitude, and our worldly and prayer-weary heart; and then pray in the name of Jesus." -O. Hallesby

A friend of mine posted this quote and video on facebook and I almost skipped over it, but when I read it, I felt like there was so much truth in it.  Something that's hard for me is not always 'feeling' God or praying and not feeling like something changed or getting pictures or something like that.  That tends to make me feel like I'm not being 'spiritual' enough or praying enough which makes me criticize myself and that gets me nowhere.  

I feel like God's been speaking to my heart lately about just knowing who He is and acting out of that knowledge and understanding.  It doesn't matter if I feel like God is with me and that breeze just confirmed it and the person next to me just gave me a sweeet word and all this stuff, I can simply walk in the knowledge of who He is and act out of that.  Granted, I do need to have that relationship and connection with Him and pray regularly, but if I don't 'feel' Him it doesn't mean He's not there.  

There's a simplicity to having faith like a child; acting out of who you know God to be and always walking in that truth.  Not questioning the timing or the place or what if nothing happens?! Simply believing Him to be who He says He is and who I've seen Him to be in my life and living out of that truth.  I think there's something powerful in simple, big faith.  Even if it's coming to God and saying 'I'm feeling crappy and I don't feel like I've spent enough time with You and I just don't know what to do.'  It's just the act of coming before Him all the time, not just when things are good or when things are bad, or when you feel like something special could happen, or not coming before Him because you definitely messed up real big this time.  His love conquers all.  There is nothing His grace can't cover as long as you bring it before Him to give up.  He doesn't want us toting around our concerns and problems and screw-ups and mistakes.  He wants us to give them to Him so He can cover us with grace and pin our stuff to the cross with Jesus. Then we're done with all that.  Those sins, problems, mistakes are no longer ours to deal with; they've been dealt with and Jesus already won. Grace is so beautiful but I feel like it's so unknown even among christians.  We don't understand enough of what God's grace means for us and our lives and those around us.

If we did understand, I think our lives would look a lot different.

Anchor

I forgot about driveway sits.  I used to sit in my driveway in the evenings or at night and listen to music, read, think, whatever.  The sunset tonight was beautiful.  I realized while I was sitting on the warm pavement how I haven't had time to just sit in God's peace and just be still.  A nice reminder that it doesn't matter how much I accomplish or how well I do things, my Abba loves me for who I am, who He created me to be.  My Lord keeps me so steady, He anchors me. Sweet as.

When it's a quarter past midnight, and the grey skies fade
to black. The waves splash and set me off track. So my vessel
might crash or collapse, when I get attacked. And start
wrestling in my head with these bad memories from my past.
I'm aware of my guilt, overwhelmed and the smell of my
blood has the sharks that surround me cast under a spell.
They waited for me to fall but when I fell the water got
still. And the blood that was spilled protects me, it's
the same blood that cleansed me. My only defense against
my nemesis, now I can rest knowing that nothing can come
against me unless the Father gives consent. Evil intentions
will not disturb God's purposes or interfere so, who
shall I fear if my Anchor is secure? Learning to consider
it pure joy when I'm facing tribulations, praising God
instead of complaining or getting overtaken with bitterness.
Looking at the pages of the book of James and seeing
the ways that God works through the trials to make us more
mature in our faith. It reminds me how desperate I am in
this desert land, thirsty for your mercy and plan while you
give me the strength to stand. You're my greatest pleasure,
yeah, no matter the weather I face, Lord you never forsake,
my fragile life is safe under your sovereign grace.
At some point every human looks right in the eyes of agony
and through the tragedy asks himself how can this happen
to me? You might be the type with enough insight to hold
on for your dear life but slip because your grip is not as
tight as you might like. You aint immune to it, naw, and if
you true to yourself then you aint new to it, trusted in
yourself, lusted and lured to it. So when the darkness overwhelms
me and the tide of life rises and swells it is well
is what compels me. When faced with adversity your truth
constantly reminds me that you command the seas with ease
and with words you're turning wind to breeze. It helps me
to understand that we stand on solid rock not on sinking
sand. Through the providence of pain you perfect your plan.
Predestined to be tested when the works and the Words of
God cooperate and educate men in the great gift of Grace
and Faith. And even though its obvious when my outlooks
ominous you've bound my heart and my conscience and gave me
a constant calmness. So when the pain comes like rain from
the parts of life that maintains it's strain i can put my
trust in the hands that sustain. It's profound that with
all these sinking ships around me, He surounds me and he
anchors me with his grace abounding.

Set a Fire

This month has been so crazy.  I had orientation, then I started working and hanging out with people and time has been flying by.  There's so much that's happened, my life has gone from a complete time of rest to a time of pouring out and being with people all the time.

I feel like I've been under a lot of spiritual attack this past week, just identity statements that are so not me like I'm not good enough or I'm going to fail or people won't like me.  How stupid is that? I know my identity in Christ, I know I'm a daughter of the King, I'm redeemed and covered with the blood of Jesus, bought with a price.  I am transformed, a new creation, I have a purpose.  I'm still learning that there's so much more for me to learn.

God is good, and He's showering me with His grace and blessings.  He keeps pouring out finances for things, times with people, and opportunities to share even just a little of what I did this year.  He is giving me so many blessings and so much favor in my job at church and already for university next year.  It's crazy.  He's giving me so many good things that it seems like craziness that I would even be affected by spiritual attack, but I've been reminded that I fight not against flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities, powers of darkness and forces of evil in the spiritual realms.  BUT my God is bigger and my Jesus has already won.  I know the power and love and grace that I stand in.  The enemy can't stand the position I've been put in, the authority I've been given through Christ, so he tries to take me down but that's just foolishness.  I turn to my God and I win. Simple as that. I'm getting my fire back.