Then I was thrown into action, everything at once, a ton of new things. Everything hit me and I was at the bottom of the biggest mountain that had absolutely no way up. I argued with God about what He was calling me to; everything was impossible, I wasn't qualified, I wasn't ready, I couldn't do it. I can't face the world on my own, I can't change people.
That's when my breath catches in my throat and I can't even complain without praising the God who sits on the throne. I can't. My worries and complaints would lead right into praise. I was still honest with God about not being cut out for what He's called me to, and He just sat and listened to me. When I finally closed my mouth, He reminded me, as He always does, that He already won. Yea, I don't have the strength or the words or anything to do anything, but He does and all I need to do is what He asks me to do. The awesome thing is, I don't do it alone; I can only do it through His strength which means He is here and there with me and I am never alone.
This morning I finally feel peace about everything; I don't feel like doubts are being thrown into my mind. The calm in the storm. I've seen what it's like to try without God. He's giving me a breather before we try again.
The Lord is so good and faithful. I cannot live my life for anything else, nothing has ever satisfied me and I've tried a few things. Then He drew me back and said 'let's try again together'.
Prayers for strength, perseverance, and discernment would be so appreciated.
You are just and fair God
Your grace has no end
You are God who sits on the throne
