Train.

Months ago I started DTS. In the first week I was given a word, 'train' and had absolutely no idea what it could possibly mean. Since then, I had my mind blown by God in New Zealand, had my heart broken for the people of Laos and Thailand, and returned to the oldest town in Connecticut.

I've been hit by a train. Everything hits at once and it's hard to process and then I feel nothing for a while and then it hits me again. Sometimes it hits harder than others.

The hard but good thing is, this is a train I can get on.  Falling off is probable and I'll keep getting hit, but the thing about my Father is that through His strength I can keep climbing back on. Something I've learned in a real life way the past couple months is resting in God and finding my peace in Him. He doesn't take away my problems or solve them or make everything just swell, but when I bring it to Him, He helps me carry it.

At first I thought I was just getting hit by a train over and over. I'm realizing it was what I thought the past couple years, that as soon as I stood back up I'd get hit by the train again and it was getting tiring to pick myself up over and over.  It's sobering to realize it's a train I can get on and when I fall off and get hit again, I reach up for my Daddy's hand and He'll boost me up.  Like I said, life things don't disappear but I find my peace in something bigger than myself.

I'm only beginning to understand reaching out to God, resting in Him, and being ok with where I'm at.

I wish I had words. Does this make sense?